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Christmas11feat

The Christmas Letter 2011

In the interest of “equal time”, I thought I’d give poor Dan a rest this Christmas, and tell a little tale on myself. Picture this: I walked in the house one night, carrying all the day’s Christmas packages to hide in my closet. It’s dark, but I don’t have a free hand to flip on a light. Suddenly, I see a flash of ...

Yonanasfeat

For the Person Who Has Everything

Christmas is just around the corner, and this year I finally have the answer to that age old question: “What do you buy for the person who has everything?” A Yonanas machine. (Okay, I just saw your head tilt at an angle at your computer screen...you looked a little like the old RCA dog.) Yes, I said a Yonanas ...

dreamstime_s_58719055JUNKfeat

Why Do Guys Text Their Junk?

I’ve had a few thoughts running through my mind lately because of “Weinergate”. (And as an aside...with a name like that, didn’t Representative Weiner spend enough time getting shoved into his high school locker to have learned that his name was embarrassing enough — without him actively contributing to the ...

stopwatchfeat

Procrastination

I’ve been procrastinating on writing a blog post. Obviously. I started to write a couple weeks ago when I dropped an entire pot of cooked macaroni on the kitchen floor. (Five second rule, right? I mean, it was going into the oven in a mac-and-cheese casserole. And baking kills germs, right?) But then I realized that ...

Raccoonfeat

Top Chef: Raccoon

Most people guard their yards against raccoons by securing trash can lids and not leaving pet food out, right?  Well, that wouldn’t work with my raccoons.  Noooooo!  At my house, we apparently also have to hide the good china and lock the liquor cabinet.  Yes, these are the dreaded upscale Los Angeles raccoons. See, I ...

dreamstime_s_66598929HEAVYfeat

How to Carry Heavy Objects

With apologies to learned doctors and physical therapists, sometimes the correct way to carry heavy objects is not the correct way at all. The other day I purchased something at Costco.  Now, we all know that the bulky items at Costco are generally not intended to be lifted by those of us with prior back problems.  But I ...