The Christmas Letter 2013
We have some crazy, unexpected news to share with you!! You’d better sit down because this is probably going to be a shocker to most of you. A truly life-changing event happened this year:
Dan ate kale.
In other news…
We relocated from Los Angeles to Tampa. Dan finally got tired of my saying that I was cold all the time, so he moved me to Central Florida to thaw out. So far his plan is working beautifully. This is the first year I am writing the Christmas letter without wearing my customary turtleneck. It’s a Merry Christmas, indeed!!!
I really thought the process of moving was going to give me tons of hysterical stories to relay to you. But in all honestly, from selling our house within a couple of weeks of putting up the sign, to moving all our stuff and shipping our cars…it’s all gone so smoothly. It was meant to be! Great for us…but not so great when I need fodder for the Christmas letter!
We’re living in a beautiful location overlooking Hillsborough Bay. Exactly where we had hoped to be. It’s wild kingdom around here. We traded our California coyotes and raccoons for pelicans, manatees and sharks. Yes…I said sharks. Dan and I thought we were watching a sweet little dolphin. But suddenly, it threw its head out of the water to chomp down on a fish, and nope…it was a huge shark! Huge. Shark. And with that, Dan’s paddleboard career ended before it began.
But we’re getting all settled in, and loving Tampa. Everyone has been so welcoming and friendly. In fact, Dan apparently has a girlfriend now. He was very excited to tell me that a lady in our building touched him on the arm in the elevator to ask if he was a professional athlete! Granted, she’s about 85 years old, and most likely, her closest brush with athletics has been the tennis balls on her walker. But still…someone thought he was an athlete, and dagnabbit, that’s all that counts!! Or so says Dan. Repeatedly.
We just got our Florida driver licenses. And lemme tell you…that was awkward.
I was standing in front of the official, who was asking me a flurry of under-oath questions about my qualifications to drive. “Do you have any restrictions on your license?”
“Nope. None.” I said.
She repeated, more firmly, “I’ll ask you again. Do you have any restrictions on your license? I need to know honestly.”
“No…I don’t. I mean, I can’t drive a truck or a motorcycle. But those are the only restrictions I can think of.”
She repeated, more slowly…gesturing, as if I didn’t understand English, “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about vision. Vision restrictions. Do you wear glasses?”
Now she seemed annoyed, “You’re sure!?”
And then it hit me. I looked at her a little sheepishly and whispered, “They’re on my head, aren’t they?”
Yep. I had my glasses perched on my head for the entire time I was trying to convince her that I didn’t wear glasses. Beautiful. I sputtered something incoherently to explain that they’re only reading glasses and I don’t need them to drive, but let’s face it…I’m sure I’m on some kind of watch list now.
I just hope Santa doesn’t hear about my naughtiness. I have been a very good girl in other respects. Hey, I even unpacked all of Dan’s Green Bay Packer stuff in our new home, when I could have easily told him that the movers lost that box. Cut me a break, Santa…that deserves some serious good-girl points! And I have to admit, Dan’s been very good, too. He hasn’t even grumbled when I’ve had him move things around 3, 4, 5 times. And without a complaint, he’s put together more furniture than both Ethan and Allen combined. Heck, it’s all a big, new adventure…and frankly, we’re both having a great time!
We certainly wish you a beautiful Christmas, and an adventurous Happy New Year.