Hitting Bottom: A Girl & Her Glasses


If I could reclaim all the time that I have spent looking for my reading glasses, I could live to be a hundred.  I even lost them for several minutes while I was writing this blog post.  (Not kidding!)

Apparently, I am incapable of keeping track of exactly where they are at any given moment.  Usually they alternate between teetering precariously on the tip of my nose to perching on the top of my head.  They make that round trip about a thousand times a day.  Hey, sometimes I’ve even found two pairs on top of my head!

Then there are other times, when I seem to unconsciously take them off and leave them in ever-increasingly-bizarre places around the house, much to my husband’s chagrin.

“What are you doing?” “I’m looking for my glasses!” is an almost constant call and response in our house.

So to my story:  I was in the midst of having an unusually productive day. I had unpacked some boxes, cleaned the kitchen, laundered the bedding, taken a swim, done some paperwork, thrown stuff into recycling, and even started to repair a cellular blind. But when I reached up on top of my head to grab my glasses, I found myself crazily clutching at air.  They weren’t there.

ARGH!  Not again.  This set me off on a search of the house. I looked everywhere.  Nada.  Zilch.  Bupkis.

Sensing my frustration (and also sensing that his day wasn’t going to get any better until my glasses were located), my hubby joined in the search. We both carefully retraced my steps to no avail.  The poor guy even searched through the big blue recycling container in case they might’ve tumbled into it as I threw stuff away.  I headed into the bedroom to un-make the bed, hoping maybe they might be hiding inside a pillowcase or something.

And that’s when I heard Hubby yell “I found them!”  I started running towards his voice only to hear, “And you’re not going to like it!”

He was outside.  He was laughing.  Laughing so hard that tears were actually rolling down his cheeks. When he finally regained his composure, he looked at me and oh-so-smugly said, “I think there needs to be a picture of this.  And a ‘post’ of some sort!”

He pointed.

My glasses were lying on the bottom of the swimming pool.  Yep.  Apparently, I had jumped in to take a swim with my glasses still neatly perched on top of my head.

Me and my glasses had both finally hit bottom.


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5 responses to “Hitting Bottom: A Girl & Her Glasses”

  1. Haha! This is the worst! I have been there many times myself. I used to be a lifeguard and I can’t count the number of times I’ve jumped in, forgetting all about my glasses and lost them. It’s a hazard! Honestly!

    I work for an optometry office now and they offer an orthokeratology procedure (called sleepSEE) that allows patients to wear lenses at night and then remove them in the morning for 20/20 vision all day. One of the most common things I hear from patients is how wonderful it is to be able to swim/go to the beach/pool/lake without worrying about glasses or contacts.

  2. Carol says:

    HaHaHa!!! Love it! But you haven’t reached bottom quite yet… I’m so totally blind that with glasses I feel like a horse wearing blinders – no peripheral vision with the glasses so I feel like things just suddenly appear out of nowhere when they reach my field of vision. I switched to contacts over 30 years ago and have been extremely happy. No more going to the beach, taking off my glasses to go swimming, then wandering around blindly looking for my towel after I have drifted down the beach with the tides, lol. So then I reached that magical time when not only did I need contacts to see at a distance (now reduced to about 2 feet), but now I need reading glasses to go with my contacts! My good buddy Dr.Greenfield worked really hard to convince me to wear a contact for distance in one eye and one for reading in the other eye. This initially worked fairly well, although I don’t think my eye makeup ever quite matches since I have trouble putting it on when using the eye with the distance vision. However, now I’ve surpassed the point that my brain can compensate for the difference so I now need reading glasses for my reading contacts!

  3. Kathy says:

    I would be in the same boat as you so I wear contact lenses.

    Realized I needed my glasses to put my make-up on; couldn’t get the eye shadow or mascara on through the glasses and couldn’t see my eyes without the glasses….it was a no brainier to switch to contact lenses!

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