The Raft.December 30th, 2010Streams of Consciousness
It’s that Christmastime of year, when we write our Christmas letters summarizing the year’s events. Normally, I just find an instance or two in which, well, “Trouble Ensued.” This year? It was “The Raft.” For those of you who received the letter…here is a picture of the dang thing. For the rest of you? So that you don’t feel left out, let me share the story with you here direct from “The Christmas Letter”:
You know, normally at this time of year, I’m staring at a blank computer screen with a massive case of Christmas letter writer’s block. But I got lucky this year.
We had such a cold summer here at home, there weren’t a lot of “summer days” available to create stories about party hijinks by the pool. But I do have one. And all it takes is one, right?
It’s September. We finally have a nice warm day, and invite a few friends over to splash around. Dan is so excited, he digs out all the pool toys we haven’t seen in ages…including a crazy raft I had bought that features an attached cabana-type sunshade. So he’s out in the backyard…blowing up the raft. I’m in the house. I mean, how much trouble can he get in?
But after too much time had passed, I finally went out to see what was taking so long, only to discover him fretting over the raft. seriously fretting. Furrowed-brow-and-scratching-head fretting. “What’s the problem?”, I asked innocently enough (but secretly looking forward to the answer).
“This thing is defective! There’s no way to attach the cabana-shade. Go look on the box, and see if there is an 800-number I can call for technical support.”
For a $10 raft? Personally, I’m thinking that nobody at raft corporate thought this was going to be a necessity. But I wisely used my inside-voice on that thought, And like a good wife…I looked on the box. “Nope, hon…no 800-number”, I yelled back to him, still feigning that innocent voice that I learned at USC acting school.
Taking my life in my hands, I decided to get a closer look at the raft situation myself. And I’m sorry. Seriously. I truly do ask forgiveness…But I started laughing so hard, I honestly thought I was going to have an aneurism. Somehow…and don’t ask me how…Dan had blown up the raft inside-out.
When confronted with reality, even Dan started laughing. We couldn’t stop. When we finally came up for air, I just looked at him with the most compassionate look on my face that I could possibly muster, and said, “some years, the Christmas letter just writes itself, huh?”
2 comments on “The Raft.”
OK…Just read through your posts and Brian and I are in tears right now. Hilarious!